


spaniel heart

by mothwrites



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Freeform, M/M, Shakespeare References, Unrequited Love, kepler POV only
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 01:43:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11772873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothwrites/pseuds/mothwrites
Summary: What worser place can I beg in your love—And yet a place of high respect with me—Than to be usèd as you use your dog?





	spaniel heart

you never asked to be put on a pedestal.

unwavering loyalty, yes, you asked for that, and obedience too. in fact, you never had to ask - why would he act in any other way, when you’re the one who found him, who rescued him, who cleaned him up and trained him and set him on this path to greatness? you think loyalty and obedience is a small price to pay. but this  _ romanticisation,  _ this, if you must admit it,  _ love,  _ is more than you bargained for.

“i love you,” he says in the cold quiet of the observation deck. he says  _ i love you  _ like it’s got something to do with you, like you owe him something for it. he says  _ i love you,  _ and it’s not a statement, it’s a request. a plea.

when you don’t answer him, he stops talking, and the night passes silently. eventually neither of you speak at all, or if you do, it’s pretend. make-believe. you can’t rescue him from this prison the crew of the hephaestus made for you both, and you can’t rescue him from this prison he’s made for himself, because, honestly? this is not your  _ goddamn problem.  _ you want to shake him, roll your eyes, spit:  _ is this really the time, daniel,  _ because you’ve known his pathetic spaniel heart for six years now and you’ve just been waiting in resigned exasperation for the day it finally breaks. and this is not your fault. he’s hurting, he’s in mourning, but you don’t know what the hell you’re doing either. you don’t have time for this. you never did.

_ you’re not the only one who has lost something,  _ you want to say. your power, your control. over the station, and over him. you’re not a  _ good  _ person, of course you encouraged him - ever so slightly, when he needed reminding of his loyalties, when you needed an easy win - and it comes back to haunt you now like maxwell’s ghost haunts him. 

you quoted king lear at him the day you met in that dive bar in san francisco, because you have an ear for pretty words, words that would inspire devotion. now you turn to the comedies, which is laughable, because this isn’t  _ funny.  _ he says “i love you” again, and you don’t look at him, you turn to the window.

“you do impeach your modesty too much, to leave the city and commit yourself into the hands of the one that loves you not.”

helena and demetrius ended up together, but that ending always left a bad taste in your mouth. demetrius knew what he wanted, and it wasn’t  _ her.  _ and you don’t want him. there’s nothing malicious in it, there isn’t anything he hasn’t done, it’s not that he isn’t  _ worthy,  _ you just… don’t care.

there is silence, for a while, and you think maybe the six years of pining are finally over. you think you can breathe again. you open your mouth to order him to rest, to maybe say a kind word, to remind him that you two are the best of the best and this ridiculous situation  _ will  _ end. you will kill the idiots trying to run the show and make contact with the aliens and leave the star to burn them all up without you. you open your mouth to say all of these things, and then he finally answers you.

“the wildest hath not such a heart as you,” he murmurs, and you want to  _ scream. _

**Author's Note:**

> i'm having a shit week and i was reading a midsummer night's dream to make me feel better but it just inspired angst about my favourite boys, so here you go


End file.
